Some How

You know, all I ever wanted was to prove to you what I couldn't prove to myself.
I wanted to scream it in your ear to ensure you heard it.
But, I guess somehow I didn't plan on someone already having told you the opposite of me.
I never wanted to hurt anyone. All i wanted to do was help others.
Some how instead you managed to  scream in my face how I was the destruction of it all. The weight those words carried were deeper than marinas trench.
You don't know much pain you permanently instilled in me.
All I ever wanted was to be what you wanted, what you were looking for and instead I was popping pills.
You looked me in the eyes and said I was the sole reason for things going wrong.
Communication is irrelevant these days because some how as long as someone gives you a reason to blame someone for what they didn't do, there's no reason to talk about it.
I have to see you every damn day and stare pain in the face.
There is no end to this hurt. I can't put it on a shelf and save it for a rainy day when no ones around anymore.
You destroyed me. You taught me what it is like to be to be terrified beyond belief. You are what a contradiction looks like. You preach goodness but you are hell behind those doors.
Keep blaming me please. Because I will keep trying to rise above.
The only times you will see me cry are when someone is blaming me for hurting people and when a my favorite TV show character dies.
I know what it is to hurt. Don't you ever think i would wish that on anyone else.